I thought that it would be good to start off this blog with talking about a concept that is fundamental to our personal growth as human beings. This concept is that of “Self Love.” It is essential that we love ourselves. The way we view and how we feel about ourselves affects how we approach life and in turn affects how we create and define our experience.
The source of self-love does not come from the outside but from within. The compliments that we receive from people, the attention that we get from a significant other, and the care that we receive from our families may all make us feel good for that moment, but they are not and should not be the source of self-love. The same is true for our financial circumstances, our occupations, our GPAs, our age, our hair and the like. These are all changing/fleeting things. Self-love is rooted deep within us at the level of our souls. At our core, there is a knowing that we are love and that we are loved by The Universe. There is also an awareness of our true selves as creative, timeless, and infinite, spiritual beings. I find that although there are days when I do not feel very good about myself and don’t have very much self-like, I never fully lose the love I have for myself because it isn’t grounded or subject to my circumstances in the physical world. At any moment, I can go within and tap into my self-love at the center of my being.
Similarly, the quirks and perceived flaws that we have are not imperfections but rather they are those things that make us unique expressions of life. If you didn’t have those quirks about you, you wouldn’t be YOU. There is no other self that is exactly like you and that is special!
Regardless of your outer circumstances or personal character aspects, fall in love with yourself in this very moment! Love yourself so deeply that you never fall out of it. Make your self-love unshakable. Unbreakable. Unmovable.
I am not speaking about becoming a Narcissist but simply about understanding that you as you are is wonderful. Loving yourself is not saying that you are better than anyone else. Nor is it saying that you are a perfect person who has got it all figured out. It is simply saying that I recognize the miracle that I am, and I honor that through the love I give and show myself.
It is important to first love yourself because if you do not love yourself you can’t possibly love another. We all want to love those that are close to us. Our family, our friends, our significant other. But you cannot give, what you do not have. Fill yourself up with love so that you can give it to those around you freely. Sometimes in relationships it may seem as though you’re giving all you’ve got and your girlfriend/boyfriend isn’t giving you all of that back in return. It may be because they are holding back for some reason, or it may be because they are really giving all that they can. They may not have any more love to give you. So make sure that you are full, so that you can share your love from the deepest part of yourself. One of my favorite lines that relates to this is from a song by sounds_absurd called “More Wisdom”. The line goes: “…Can you please fill my cup so I can share it?” Brilliant, I say! Check out the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10u2xg_GzfE
In the wake of the recent Sandy Hook tragedy, I truly believe that love is what was missing. Love for our neighbor as our brother and love for ourselves. There has been a heavy debate about gun laws and attention to mental illness and I believe that these conversations should be happening right now. However, I also think that there is a spiritual solution for every problem and that conversation should be happening too. Not only conversations, but forward action in the direction of love. When we are separate from our true nature, which is love, we tend to succumb to our negative emotions and negative experiences. However, a person that is grounded in love, knows where their strength comes from and knows who they really are. They know that no situation is permanent. And most importantly, they know that reconnecting with love is what will pull them through their dark times. Love is the answer to every problem. With a little more self-love, we could do more things that are empowering rather than continuing to do things that are destructive to our world.
We are all capable of finding that love within ourselves and becoming it. Using mantras is a great way to start a practice of changing an old belief to a new belief that better serves you. Look in the mirror and repeat: “I love and accept myself where I am right now“. This is a personal mantra that I use frequently. Even if you do not feel like you can love yourself right now or that you should love yourself right now, as your old beliefs shift, you will find it easier to look in the mirror, say those words, and mean it. Creating your own mantra is also a great way to re-mind yourself and establish a new belief.
Know that you are love. You are light. You are fully cared for and supported by the Universe. Love yourself today. Be kind to yourself. And go forward with love in pursuit of your deepest desires!